The people of Oz never really forgave Auntie Em Productions for filming the documentary. Ever since then, tourism has soared. Yellow Brick Road chachkes are everywhere. Campers book well
in advance to pitch a tent in the poppy fields. Starbucks opened in the Emerald City mall offering munchkin size lattes.
According to his e-mail, Tin Man is on yet another heart healthy diet. Lion's afraid that Oz is turning into a theme park. And Scarecrow, my dear, dear Scarecrow -- sorry to say he's losing his memory.
Me? Well, Ruby Slippers Ltd. isn't in the red -- ha, ha, just a little corporate humor we use around our executive suite. We've actually been inundated with orders. Our market research shows that people are tired of bail outs, TARP and toxic assets. In this tanked economy people are desperate for simple solutions.
Now what's simpler than clicking your heels together, repeating the mantra and hoping for better times. These days, everyone could use a pair of ruby slippers.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Happy B-day, Barbie
To our demographic -- 50 plus
We welcome you so stop the fuss.
Yes, of course your life's half through
But hey, girlfriend, what can you do?
No wrinkles, no grey -- you still look swell.
For that you'll have to thank Mattel.
The waistline that's akin to Scarlett's.
The cleavage matching any harlot's.
Actually you look fantastic
For an ageing doll that's made of plastic.
A bit of advice to accept or refuse --
Buy yourself some sensible shoes!
We welcome you so stop the fuss.
Yes, of course your life's half through
But hey, girlfriend, what can you do?
No wrinkles, no grey -- you still look swell.
For that you'll have to thank Mattel.
The waistline that's akin to Scarlett's.
The cleavage matching any harlot's.
Actually you look fantastic
For an ageing doll that's made of plastic.
A bit of advice to accept or refuse --
Buy yourself some sensible shoes!
Sunday, March 8, 2009
The Sound of All Hands Clapping
Rachel Ray's audience applauded Parmesan. Not a completed dish containing Parmesan. Just the cheese all by it's little shredded self. Martha Stewart smothered a greeting card in glitter and the crowd roared. A talk show guest revealed they'd been married 20-plus years and the clapping was deafening.
Of course there are applause signs flashing constantly in a TV studio, but I think we've become applause crazy with or without the prompts. At a comedy show recently, there was very little actual laughter -- and the guy was funny. Perhaps a titter here and there, but an abundance of clapping.
We need to differentiate our appreciation for cheese and glitter from that of a great performance. Maybe we should break out in a chorus of "yummy" for cheese and "ooh" and "aah" for glitter. That way we can save the applause for talent.
In San Francisco, where I live, people have graduated from wild applause to automatic standing ovations. I try to save the enthusiastic leaps from my chair for an outstanding performance -- let's say a 10 on the Richter performance scale. If I stand for the 5's and 7's what do I do when a real 10 comes along?
Sticking to my standards ---and my seat--- works well in theory, but there is a point when the embarrassment factor kicks in. Let's say that 80% of the audience has lept to its feet in appreciation. I, however, didn't think the performance was ovation-worthy. So what do I do? Stay seated to show my disagreement or stand up and fake it?
I went to the theater to be entertained. How did an evening out become an etiquette dilemma?
Of course there are applause signs flashing constantly in a TV studio, but I think we've become applause crazy with or without the prompts. At a comedy show recently, there was very little actual laughter -- and the guy was funny. Perhaps a titter here and there, but an abundance of clapping.
We need to differentiate our appreciation for cheese and glitter from that of a great performance. Maybe we should break out in a chorus of "yummy" for cheese and "ooh" and "aah" for glitter. That way we can save the applause for talent.
In San Francisco, where I live, people have graduated from wild applause to automatic standing ovations. I try to save the enthusiastic leaps from my chair for an outstanding performance -- let's say a 10 on the Richter performance scale. If I stand for the 5's and 7's what do I do when a real 10 comes along?
Sticking to my standards ---and my seat--- works well in theory, but there is a point when the embarrassment factor kicks in. Let's say that 80% of the audience has lept to its feet in appreciation. I, however, didn't think the performance was ovation-worthy. So what do I do? Stay seated to show my disagreement or stand up and fake it?
I went to the theater to be entertained. How did an evening out become an etiquette dilemma?
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