Is dating more difficult when you're older? You'd think it would be easier since we all carry more baggage on the subject than an LAX skycap.
I've given up dating -- and not just for Lent, but my friend is totally focused -- perhaps even borderline rabid -- on having a date for New Year's Eve this year. After trying the clubs where she felt like the Mom, she's taking the more anonymous route and checking the personal sites.
Unfortunately, on the Internet it's easy to stretch the truth -- farther than Pavarotti's leotard in some cases. So, based on my past experience, I compiled a Dating Dictionary to help her decipher the bios and sort out the dreamboats from the dinghies.
The caveat, of course, is that at our age meeting men is a lot like shopping at Safeway after midnight. Everything is either previously squeezed, picked over or out of stock.
Here are some entries:
- Tom Sellick look-alike: an aloha shirt for every occasion
- make a woman feel needed: bring cash
- great sense of humor: you'll love his Curly imitation
- good conversation: serious "I" problems
- spiritually evolved: been in three cults
- infectious smile: that's not all that's contagious
- sensitive: he cried when Brett Favre retired
- well-read: knows the Hardy Boy stories by heart
- sexy foreign accent: needs a Green Card
- Mediterranean style: think Zorba
My fingers are crossed, my friend. If Mr. Right isn't on line, I'm always free for New Year's Eve.
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