We Think It's a Whale....

Spring is whale migration season along the West Coast. Unfortunately as they move northward to feed in Alaska, some lose their innate GPS and mistakenly hang a right hand turn into the San Francisco Bay. While we humans love to watch them, the creatures are separated from the pod and undoubtedly terrified by the multitude of hovering news helicopters. Film at eleven.

Before you think you're logged into a PBS nature blog let me clarify that my point is not about the dead whale in the Bay last week. My point is about the news coverage that surrounded it.

It was a slow news day -- just after the European airspace opened and just before SEC employees got caught conducting, shall we say, non-governmental business. The media was hungry for just about anything so finding a dead whale -- and a baby one at that -- was 6 o'clock news pay dirt.

There were numerous Earth Day tie-ins since the whale's belly was filled with various plastics. Marine biologists spoke to reporters. The Coast Guard was interviewed about towing the carcass away. Par for the course for local news.

But my favorite bit of questionable journalism was when a reporter said the Coast Guard had found what was "believed to be" a gray whale. Believed to be?! I'm no animal expert, but I think if I found a dead mammal the size of Rhode Island floating in the water, I just might conclude that the critter was indeed a whale.

Come on media -- stick your neck out, make a statement, stop mincing around. What's next? The alleged whale?

No Neckties for the Docs?

You've probably heard news reports about people who develop infections as patients in the hospital. Poorly sterilized utensils you might think. Or the staff not properly washing their hands. Or maybe there really is a fly in your soup.

All possibilities, but we've overlooked something rather obvious --- the doctor's necktie. It doesn't make you sick because it's in bad taste, a hideous color or loud enough to wake the surgical patients. It makes you sick because it could be teeming with bacteria. A veritable Manhattan of germs held in place by a Windsor knot.

Imagine where that tie has been all day -- or maybe you'd rather not. The Doc has been examining patients with a variety of ailments and diseases. And now it's your turn to watch that silk petri dish dangling over your sick bed.

It's not just neckties. According to an AMA study, there is some evidence that other clothing items and accessories spread disease as well. The group is developing dress code policies to minimize the problem, but they'll have to catch up with medicos in the UK. They've had a dress code since 2007 that requires medical personnel to be jewelry and clothing free below the elbows.

So if your doctor isn't wearing a tie next time you see him, remember that he's not just getting a head start on casual Friday.

Isn't a Gift Always Free?

"Take a test drive and receive a free gift", read the ad. "Try our product for 30 days and we'll give you a free gift", barked the infomercial. "Thanks for stopping by our kiosk," said the sales associate. "Here's your free gift."

I am an admitted word maven. I love language -- when it's used correctly. When it's not, my built-in annoyance meter goes into overdrive -- and that's been happening frequently of late.

Expressions like "join together" and "continue on" make my jaw clench. They're redundant, repetitive and say the same thing. Is there any other way to join but together? If we don't continue on aren't we going back?

These and numerous others push me to the edge. But "free gift" leaves me teetering on the brink. The very nature of a gift is free to those who receive it. Did the Magi tell Joseph and Mary they brought a free gift of myrrh for the kid? Did the Trojans say anything about that giant gift horse being free. And think of Santa Claus. He's the master of gifts, but have you ever heard any Christmas carol mention free ones.

Unfortunately, the "free gift" concept has become a solid part of the Madison Avenue lexicon. Perhaps they're just trying to help us distinguish between all those pesky gifts we have to pay for.

Easter: Symbolism or Sugar?

Easter Sunday. The holiest of days in the Catholic faith. There's the resurrection of Christ and all that it symbolizes for the Church. But, as kids, we celebrated for different reasons.

Lent was over -- all 40 long days of it -- and we could go back to eating candy. I'm sure if someone did a survey of the number one thing Catholic kids gave up for Lent it would be candy. No tormenting siblings or sassing parents would probably be runners-up. Hey, we were just kids -- not exactly up to the task of ending world hunger!

For us Easter was all about the candy: jelly beans, chocolate bunnies, marshmallow chicks, chocolate eggs -- all served in one pastel basket. A sugar bonanza on a par with Halloween.

And we actually believed that the treats were delivered by a giant, mutant rabbit who hippity-hopped his way into our living room while we slept. What gullible little tykes we were.

Today I eliminate the middle man -- er -- rabbit. And I don't really care about the cheap "made in China" basket. I just roll that shopping cart down the candy aisle at my local supermarket and fill 'er up.