Did We See The Same Movie?

Personal policy:  Never read reviews before seeing a movie. Better to go in cold and form your own opinions.

Sadly, this policy is based on personal experience. I feel duped  when I blindly believe a four-star rating only to realize that sitting in the dentist chair would be more entertaining.  Did we really see the same movie?

I listen intently for the depth of character the reviewer wrote about at length. We're an hour into the film and, so far, the kiddies end of the pool is deeper than anyone in the film. 


"Gripping story line" -- this from a male critic whose intellectual  faculties have shut down due to the abundance of cleavage on screen.  "Great acting" -- also written in a cleavage induced stupor.  "A laugh-fest" -- again, let's go with the all-powerful cleavage.

What qualifications does it take to be a movie critic?  Are they film school grads, serious movie buffs or is it people sitting in their pajamas surrounded by their twelve cats pounding out an opinion on their laptop? 

Unfortunately, some of the more frequently read critics can make or break a movie with a few good praises or pans.  They see so many movies I imagine they have to write the review immediately lest they mix up characters and plot.  Envision Scarlett O'Hara skipping down the yellow brick road.


I check the newspaper for what's playing, not for what I should see.  I choose a movie based on the actors and subject matter.  Gotta be honest here though -- a few scenes showing a cute little butt never hurts.