Remember the "I Dream of Jeannie" series from the '60s? Barbara Eden in her harem outfit, wielding a killer head nod, causing all kinds of innocent mischief for her master. Did you know that network censors made her cover her belly button? Ah, the x-rated bare navel -- serious titillation for teenage boys, and perhaps their fathers as well, in the early part of that repressed decade.
Fast forward some forty-plus years. If it's titillation you're looking for, turn on just about any channel. The recent Miss USA pageant featured belly button-exposed contestants in itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny yellow polka dot bikinis (sorry, I know that song's going to run through your head, but it so fit my sentence) skimpy enough for the beaches of Brazil.
TV has gone from banning belly buttons to condoning cleavage -- watch for the obligatory lean-over-a-colleagues-laptop scene in just about all cop, legal and medical dramas. After all, a sexy coroner has to have something under that oversized lab coat to tempt the docs.
There's simply no use for the "I see London, I see France...." rhyme we chanted as kids. Seeing someone's underpants? That's so yesterday. Chances are they're not wearing any.
Being a network censor back in the day was undoubtedly a stressful job. After all, they had to protect us from --- well I'm not sure what exactly. Today we're either all grown up or beyond redemption. My money's on the latter.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Sunday, June 19, 2011
The Big Birthday Done Come and Gone
I've been whining and wailing about it for weeks, dreading it for days. Now it's happened. I turned sixty-freakin'-five yesterday.
Remember the Y2K scare? I poo-pooed it overall, but woke up January 1 with trepidation only to find the world still functioning. Well, it was kind of a repeat of that this morning -- nothing had changed. No new wrinkles, no new bone creakage, no new aches or pains -- of course all of the old ones were still there. Guess that would border on the miracle category, but then I do like to set the bar pretty high.
I often walk the labyrinth hoping for enlightenment on some level. No real aha moment this time, but one of those "it's all in the attitude" realizations. I'm much calmer today. It's either a new level of spiritual awareness or a sugar coma hangover from yesterday. That was one yummy birthday cannolli!
Yes, I'm a year older but buried somewhere in there is a year wiser as well. A multitude of insights to be shared. Stay tuned.
Remember the Y2K scare? I poo-pooed it overall, but woke up January 1 with trepidation only to find the world still functioning. Well, it was kind of a repeat of that this morning -- nothing had changed. No new wrinkles, no new bone creakage, no new aches or pains -- of course all of the old ones were still there. Guess that would border on the miracle category, but then I do like to set the bar pretty high.
I often walk the labyrinth hoping for enlightenment on some level. No real aha moment this time, but one of those "it's all in the attitude" realizations. I'm much calmer today. It's either a new level of spiritual awareness or a sugar coma hangover from yesterday. That was one yummy birthday cannolli!
Yes, I'm a year older but buried somewhere in there is a year wiser as well. A multitude of insights to be shared. Stay tuned.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Medicare, Here I Come!
I passed a milestone this week. I used my Medicare card for the very first time.
I was a tad reluctant to hand it over to the pharmacy clerk. In my mind it means I'm teetering on the threshold of geezer hood -- a mere six days til I'm officially 65 -- and when you flash that little red, white and blue card everyone knows it. I feel like I'm toting a freakin' American flag. Could they not have chosen more muted colors? Perhaps something in a shade of grey -- now that's symbolic.
Yes, I know I worked my entire adult life to "earn" the card but it feels akin to Hester Pryne sporting that capital "A" on her chest. Make mine an "O" for old or an "S" for senior or an "E" for elder -- whatever bit of alphabet works. Just no "TA" for Third-Ager as suggested in a recent article -- a term that makes me want to down a Costco size bottle of Rolaids.
Frankly, I think we'll always be Boomers even when we're pushing walkers and wearing adult diapers. We're a demographic within a demographic and we'll be studied to death as we age. Actually I'm feeling more like a pioneer, what with being in the first wave and all. I'll keep you posted on my journey.
I was a tad reluctant to hand it over to the pharmacy clerk. In my mind it means I'm teetering on the threshold of geezer hood -- a mere six days til I'm officially 65 -- and when you flash that little red, white and blue card everyone knows it. I feel like I'm toting a freakin' American flag. Could they not have chosen more muted colors? Perhaps something in a shade of grey -- now that's symbolic.
Yes, I know I worked my entire adult life to "earn" the card but it feels akin to Hester Pryne sporting that capital "A" on her chest. Make mine an "O" for old or an "S" for senior or an "E" for elder -- whatever bit of alphabet works. Just no "TA" for Third-Ager as suggested in a recent article -- a term that makes me want to down a Costco size bottle of Rolaids.
Frankly, I think we'll always be Boomers even when we're pushing walkers and wearing adult diapers. We're a demographic within a demographic and we'll be studied to death as we age. Actually I'm feeling more like a pioneer, what with being in the first wave and all. I'll keep you posted on my journey.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Politicians Behaving Badly -- Again
Yet another news story -- ad nausea -- this week about a politician behaving badly. Once the obvious jokes die down, he can line up behind our former president, several former governors, a former presidential candidate and, don't forget, the former House speaker who was motivated out of patriotism.
These scandals are becoming so common there should be a nationally televised competition for Cad of the Year. Contestants earn points for the event itself. Originality counts. Remember, the intern, the housekeeper, the high-priced call girl and the South American mistress have already been done so get creative. Score points for the press conference that most humiliates the suffering wife. Additional points for best denial. Bonus points if tears -- yours -- are shed.
Contestants show their talent for lying, covering up and back-pedaling.
Who would judge the pageant? Women every where a la American Idol.
Who would sponsor such a pageant? I'm thinkin' Viagra -- or does that send the wrong message?
These scandals are becoming so common there should be a nationally televised competition for Cad of the Year. Contestants earn points for the event itself. Originality counts. Remember, the intern, the housekeeper, the high-priced call girl and the South American mistress have already been done so get creative. Score points for the press conference that most humiliates the suffering wife. Additional points for best denial. Bonus points if tears -- yours -- are shed.
Contestants show their talent for lying, covering up and back-pedaling.
Who would judge the pageant? Women every where a la American Idol.
Who would sponsor such a pageant? I'm thinkin' Viagra -- or does that send the wrong message?
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