There's a traditional holiday song with a line something like "it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas". It goes on about the snow, decorations and general good cheer of the season.
It doesn't, however, include any reference to the god awful sweaters people wear this time of year. You know the ones I mean --- reindeer leaping over chimneys, dancing gingerbread men, multi-colored tree ornaments and snowflakes humongous enough to ground a flight at JFK.
Where are the fashion police when you need them? How is it that normally chic people lose all sense of style when it comes to these folk art sweaters? My theory is that granny or auntie or someone dear to them knit the garment and gave it as a gift so it's more of an obligation than a fashion choice. I could be way off the mark here, but that's all I've got. I just can't believe any sighted person would actually buy one of these sweaters --- even on black Friday --- at midnight.
First of all, it has a short shelf life. You can't be wearing leaping reindeer or tinsel much into January. When you take down the tree, take off the sweater. Second, make sure the person who knit it for you sees you wearing it. Tell them how toasty it is, how much you love it -- then pack it away and call the L.L. Bean emergency hot line to order a real sweater.
I've probably offended all of you who really do wear these sweaters. Maybe I'm sour grapes since I was never given a hand made Christmas sweater. You see my granny and aunties never mastered knitting beyond a certain stitch. But if you're interested, I can tell you about my many holiday scarves.
1 comment:
My goodness, Ms. Scrooge, I confess I fall into the camp that happens to like leaping reindeer and dancing ginger people. Good to hear the trend for these sweaters doesn't appear to be diminishing and is alive and well in all parts of the country. If you secretly want one, a quick trip to Ross or Marshalls would probably net you at least one if not two or more (it can be difficult to decide which is the perfect one for all your holiday outfits). :) Now about those scarves. Having once been given a giant one with a huge landmark on it that I knew I'd never wear, I returned it to the store and discovered those darn things are fetching almost $200. Egads. Give me my Santa sweater vest. Happy Holidays!
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