August 13 marked the 19th Annual Left Handers Day Celebration.
What's that? You missed it? Figures. We lefties -- I'm talking penmanship here, not politics -- are used to being forgotten. After all, only 13% of us belong to this elite group and we long ago conceded that this is a right-handed world.
Surely you've watched a leftie attempt to cut with a scissors. Maybe even laughed at what you saw. No arguing that it is indeed awkward. That innocent little tool has contributed to the plight of we lefties since pre-school. Everyone's Valentine showed neat, rounded edges -- yes, even with those ridiculous blunted scissors. Mine looked like the class gerbil gnawed his way around the outside. Scissors are definitely made for right-handers.
Personally, I'm ladle-phobic. I'd feel more comfortable in a tutu en pointe with the Bolshoi than scooping liquid out of a soup tureen. I have no proof that the ladle favors the right-handed majority, but it saps what little dexterity I have remaining using either hand. I've offered guests my first born child if only they'd fill my punch glass.
Remember elementary school desks? Obviously designed by a right-hander. The desktops were shaped similar to an artist's palette but they were always attached to the right side of the desk. In order to apply pen to paper, we lefties were forced to contort our little bodies, thus making future chiropractic patients of us all.
As payback for sticking us with the root word "sinistra" in Latin and "gauche" in French, we were compelled to excel and become creative geniuses like Leonardo or over-achievers like President Obama -- both of whom would be installed in the Left Handers Hall of Fame if anyone should decide to establish one. The left bank of Paris would be an excellent site.
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